Exactly a year ago today I woke up unemployed. I’ve written before about what I have learnt about being made redundant and the process I went through to become self-employed. But I am yet to share what really went on for me over the past 12 months.
The past 12 months have been an absolute period of discovery to really connect back with myself. When I say ‘really’, I mean unpacking and thinking about certain things in my life I have masked over or simply just ignored.
For those of you with similar characteristics to me, you will understand the ability to just keep on going, not giving up and looking for the good in most things and people. However, I started to challenge this way of thinking and asked myself ‘how does this really serve me?’
4 Months ago I wrote an article about what I was going to do in the last months of 2019. I wrote about being enough, being present and just being me. Just writing these words down now seems simple enough, but in practice how do you actually work at being any of these things? Is it purely a mindset you have to have? Is it a daily routine of actions you should take? Is it just self-acceptance?
My answer to these questions is actually quite simple – You Need To Learn To Control Your Thoughts.
Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if not used correctly, can also be the most destructive force in your life.
Your mind, more specifically, your thoughts, affect your perception and therefore, your interpretation of reality.
I’ve heard that the average person thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot, especially if they are unproductive, self-abusive and just a general waste of energy.
I choose to be the person who is actively, consciously thinking about my thoughts.
When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind.
So how did I do this and how can you do this?
My inner critic needed a good talking to. Your inner critic is generally your constant abuser who is often a conglomeration of:
- Other people’s words; many times your parents.
- Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples expectations.
- Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media.
- The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal.
The Inner Critic is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance and lack of self-love.
The irony of the Inner Critic is this is actually yourself – WHY WOULD YOU LET YOURSELF TREAT YOURSELF SO BADLY?
How to Master Your Mind
You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You must pay attention to your thoughts so you can identify “who” is running the show.
Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts. The main technique I used to control my thoughts is: Interrupt and replace them.
The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go to” thoughts in the applicable situations.
As I have grasped control of my Inner Critic, I now see far more opportunities ahead of me and less and less barriers.
This year I have goals and intensions to further grow my coaching practice, continually work on my MSc, start a new events business and continue supporting the family business…while of course remaining the best version of me wearing my other hats as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend etc……
So, the past 12 months has taught me a lot – most importantly to be kind to myself and seek out all the opportunities I dream about.
If you’re interested in learning more about my techniques or require support from a business/personal coach please get in touch and I look forward to sharing my experiences and learning in 2020.
Happy New Year.